What to do
if I committed a mistake?
We all commit mistakes, we are humans. I was witnessing a large mistake made in an international community. The ramifications reverberated years after the incident around the globe. This somehow triggered a question in me: "Is there a universal solution to mistakes?". How to get away the easiest way possible? And the answer appeared.
Nothing could be really done if the mistake is not accepted -- any measure taken, has hardly and effect.
The best is to say or announce "I made this mistake, and and caused you to suffer". It is the hardest within the whole thing, but also most healing. Everything else is downhill. The more detail the better. Leave nothing out. Say verbally what you did and how you understand the consequences. The more honesty, the better.
Acceptance means to be ready to receive all consequences and deal with them. Don't fight back. No defending. No evading. No deflecting. No justification.
Any secrecy, dishonesty or partial truth will start to eat you inside.
Taking responsibility means willingness to act. Without this step we are like "ok, I'd did this, so what?". Responsibility unlocks necessary action, or encompasses them.
Compensate what is possible to compensate. If those were words that hurt the other, an apology may be appropriate. If it has been said in front of audience, then the apology has to be in front of the audience. If the mistake caused material loss, the the compensation should be material. For example if you crashed friends car, you either pay him the repairs or repair the car yourself.
How about things that cannot be compensated? For example causing unintended bodily harm. Then accept the law of the echo, without making a complaint.
4. Never again
Do so that it never happens again. If harm was caused because seatbelts were not fastened, then make sure the rest of the life all seatbelts are fastened before driving. If that was behavioural pattern, then taking few therapy sessions might be good idea. To understand why it happened, and then to release/unravel/annihilate the pattern.
5. Let go
When all of the above is completed, it is time for introspection. Let go of all emotions, wants and beliefs that are related to the incident. Let go of fear, guilt and shame. Clean out everything until there is nothing else to release about the incident. Otherwise you will still be bound to the incident and people keep blaming you. Keeping negative emotions means poisoning your body with toxins of negative emotions. Forgive yourself. And other too, if you still blame the for the happening.
6. Give time
Give time for yourself and for other to heal from the incident. Give time to readjust. Give time to receive the experience fully. Don't rush.