All the pain, anguish, and anxiety that appears in your TF journey does not originate from it.
The meeting and separation simply trigger, bring forth, and make visible the patterns that you didn't even know existed.
This journey is not the cause of the suffering, but the culmination – the hardest stage where long-held, unresolved patterns surface, finally ready to be seen and released.
The TF journey moves from patterns of the mind to the serenity of the soul.
Many condemn the mind as problematic – it's not. The mind has a storehouse, and within that storehouse lie the patterns you have created.
When your soul lights up, these stored patterns become visible in its light and awaken. They are ready to be released so love can freely flow. Like a powerful mountain stream sweeping debris away.
As the stream of love brushes against these obstructing patterns, they become intensely active and dominate the mind – some call this the "dark night of the soul."
The challenge is to become aware of those modifications of the mind, and then to disidentify (not suppress) from those.
I see two main approaches to TF union emerging in the TF community:
Approach 1: Heal the separation patterns first, keeping union as the background vision.
Approach 2: Focus on "inner union," setting patterns aside. (If I understand correctly, this is what Kurt Johnson advocates.)
The Yoga Sutras (1.12) offer insight here: to reach any goal, you need both forward movement AND obstacle removal.
Patterns don't dissolve on their own when ignored – they simply lie dormant. If left unaddressed, they're likely to erupt during union, destabilizing it.
But if you only excavate patterns without holding the reality of union, you risk losing sight of the goal entirely. This approach also holds a hidden belief or condition, "I cannot have a union before I'm healed", creating artificial separation.
Both are needed: the healing work AND holding the truth of union.
Those experiencing TF separation feel longing, craving, yearning – an intense desire for the other. The greater the separation, the stronger the longing. This intensity isn't random; it's proportional. Your longing is measuring something.
As you resolve separation-patterns within yourself, the yearning reduces. When those patterns are eliminated, the desperate desire dissolves. What remains isn't emptiness or loss – it's peace, trust, passion, and a sense of union. The connection doesn't disappear when the craving does. It transforms into something that doesn't hurt, but connects.
The TF journey differs so profoundly from conventional relationships that finding proper support becomes a challenge in itself. At some point, many TF seek help from professionals – psychotherapists, counselors, relationship experts. What often happens is disheartening: your experience gets reduced to a diagnosis from a textbook.
You might hear labels like codependency, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bipolar tendencies, delusional thinking, or unhealthy attachment patterns. Some professionals may suggest you're seeking an idealized version of your opposite-sex parent. During separation phases, they may encourage you to "move on" or "get over it" – approaches that fundamentally misunderstand the nature of the TF connection. It is not really possible, and it does not work.
These professionals aren't being malicious. They're applying frameworks they've learned, trying to fit your experience into familiar categories. And to be fair, they can genuinely help with psychological challenges you may face along the journey – trauma healing, anxiety management, developing healthy boundaries, or working through childhood wounds.
But here's the crucial distinction: they cannot guide the TF journey itself. They lack the experiential understanding of what it means to encounter your mirror soul, to navigate the intensity of that recognition, or to endure the spiritual transformation that unfolds through this connection.
Only professionals who are TF themselves – or who have deeply studied this specific path – can offer validation for what you're experiencing and provide guidance that honors the true nature of your journey.
The TF journey is isolating. Traditional therapists and counselors rarely understand its unique dynamics, leaving you searching for support elsewhere. Naturally, you may turn to psychics, tarot readers, astrologers, and energy practitioners – hoping someone can shed light on your path.
Here's what you need to know.
The Limitation of Secondhand Frequency
Most psychics, however gifted, lack direct TF experience. They cannot accurately translate or mediate an energy frequency they haven't personally navigated. Without this lived understanding, the guidance they offer – while well-intentioned – remains unreliable. They see it as a regular relationship. The exception? Practitioners who have walked the TF path themselves or have genuinely specialized in this specific field.
The Danger That Sticks
Beyond unreliable information lies a more insidious risk. Psychic readings bypass your rational mind and land directly in a deeper part of you. Statements like "They don't love you" or "You will never meet them" can burrow deep, creating wounds that persist for months or years or even a lifetime. These pronouncements carry authority in your psyche because you received them in a vulnerable, seeking state. Because you project your own authority onto them. Because you don't trust yourself. Once under your skin, they're extraordinarily difficult to eradicate.
Building Your Inner Compass
Your most reliable guidance system is already within you. Instead of outsourcing your knowing, cultivate trust in your own inner wisdom. You know what you need to know. Your soul lets you know what you need to know. If you don't know more, then you don't need to.
Visit psychics only when your inner guidance specifically directs you to – not when you're desperate, confused, or seeking validation. When you're truly meant to receive external support, that same inner knowing will show you exactly who can help. You'll recognize them. The resonance will be unmistakable.
The Path of Discernment
The proper reflection from psychics is the reflection about the progress of pattern-work.
Be aware if the information makes you expand or contract. True info expands and empowers you; other info does not resonate or makes you contract internally. Be aware of the resonance of truth.
When the TF experience arrives, it shatters everything. This isn't like any relationship you've encountered before – and that difference becomes the source of profound confusion. You look around for something familiar to hold onto, some framework that makes sense of what's happening. But there's nothing.
Your friends don't recognize it. Family members can't relate. The people you trust most in the world look at you with concern or dismissal when you try to explain. And in their incomprehension, doubt begins to creep in. Am I imagining this? Am I losing perspective? Is this real, or have I created an elaborate fantasy? Is it clinging?
Your experience is real.
The TF phenomenon exists – but it exists in a space beyond ordinary validation. Perhaps 1 in 10,000 people will encounter this in their lifetime. This rarity means that for most people around you, what you're experiencing will always be theoretical, impossible to verify, something that sounds like projection or delusion. They simply don't have the reference point.
But their lack of understanding doesn't make your experience less real. There are TF coaches – like Kurt Johnson and Cat Summers – who have witnessed this pattern across thousands of TFs and can confirm: the markers are consistent, the phenomenon is real, and you are not alone in this.
Wanting and choosing are not the same thing – they are opposite forces on the TF journey.
Wanting keeps you locked in separation. This has two parts: First, you hold a reality where your desired outcome doesn't exist, or the union is not possible. Second, you struggle and push to make it happen. For example, you take steps towards TF union, but your mind fills with thoughts like "Maybe it's not meant to be," "I'm not ready," "They're not ready," "We are too different," "I don't accept his character," "I'm not good enough," "They not honor me" or "It's too difficult." In wanting, the inner reality and action are conflicting. Wanting often leads to using force – trying to make things happen – but force is unnatural. You cannot use force against your inner reality, against your choice.
Choosing is different. When you choose, you shift into the reality where the union already exists. It is the truth of your soul. There's no worry about whether, how, or when you'll get there – you already know you're there, the outcome is guaranteed. Think about driving home from work: you've chosen to go, so you don't sit in your car wondering if you'll arrive. You simply drive. The destination is certain.
When your choice shifts from "it's not possible" to "union exists," something clicks in your reality. It is choosing your deepest feeling over external circumstances. You experience how everything starts to align for the best outcome. Synchronicities appear. Obstacles dissolve. The path opens naturally. Your choice leads, circumstances follow it.
Your choice – your inner decision about your reality – acts as a prayer or instruction to the universe about what to manifest. When you hold the belief "we are separated," the universe is bound to reflect the separation to you. When you hold "we are united," life leads you to the experience.
Here's the key: your choice is clear and powerful when no patterns distort it. But when doubt creeps in, when old wounds activate, when fear patterns arise – your choice becomes disturbed. There will be more than one competing choice suddenly. You may not even be able to fully make the choice until those patterns are cleared.
Do you want TF union, or do you choose TF union?
Everything material around you reflects something within. Your TF connection represents your connection to your own heart. When you are well connected to your heart, you are connected to your TF. When there is pain, distrust, or disconnection from your heart – the same appears in your TF relationship.
This understanding offers a two-fold invitation.
First, will you follow your heart? If your heart tells you to communicate with your TF – will you? If it asks you to withhold – will you honor that? If it instructs you to work on your pain or separation – will you do it? If it tells you to show up at their door and confess your feelings – would you follow?
Second, will you clear your heart connection? Will you commit to removing what blocks you from trusting and following your heart's guidance?
Following your heart is the most natural thing. The challenge arises when patterns of mind contaminate your heart's instructions. For example, when doubt is present, it mixes with your heart's guidance, leaving you uncertain – feeling yes and no simultaneously. This invites you to investigate and release the distorting patterns. When you do, only the most natural course of action remains, accompanied by peace and certainty.
How can you measure if you are connected to your heart? There is no tension, confusion, doubt, demanding, accusing, pushing, or pulling. There is clarity, relaxation, ease. And you don't care at all if they are with you or not. You don't care because your heart feels it is inevitable.
When you're in the separation phase with your TF, a profound question emerges: Do circumstances drive your choices, or do your choices create your circumstances? The answer unfolds in three transformative stages.
Phase 1: Dictation of Circumstance
In the beginning, it feels like life is happening to you. "He abandoned me, so now I am abandoned. There's nothing I can do." The external situation appears to dictate your internal reality. You are the effect, and circumstances are the cause. This phase is characterized by a sense of powerlessness or victimhood – the belief that your experience is determined by forces outside your control.
Phase 2: The Unconscious Loop
What happens next is subtle but crucial. The choice you made in Phase 1 – the belief in abandonment – begins to produce more abandonment. Your unconscious conviction starts shaping your reality. You might notice patterns repeating, the same feelings of separation intensifying, and situations that confirm your belief appearing again and again. You're no longer just responding to circumstances; you're actively creating them from an unconscious state, and getting external validation from the created circumstances. It becomes a loop.
Phase 3: The Conscious Shift
This is where true transformation occurs. You realize that circumstances have always been driven by choice – you just weren't aware of it. With this awareness comes the power to choose consciously. Instead of "I am abandoned," you choose: "Union exists."
When you choose "union exists," you're not just declaring union with your TF. You're declaring union between yourself and your own heart, your own soul. Because your TF is the external reflection of your heart. The connection to your TF and the connection to yourself are one and the same. This choice cannot be made mentally; it must ripen internally, by reducing obstructing patterns.
This is the journey from victimhood of circumstance to mastery of choice!
A question often arises early on the TF journey – where are the others who understand this experience? Can you connect with people who truly get what you're going through?
You absolutely can.
TF Coaches
Working with experienced TF coaches can provide tremendous acceleration on your journey. They offer methodology, frameworks, and understanding of TF dynamics that can save you years of personal struggle. Here are a few to explore:
Watching their content and enrolling in their courses can give you the boost and clarity that comes from learning from those who've walked this path and seen thousands doing the same.
TF Communities
Facebook groups dedicated to TF journeys offer a space to share experiences and realize you're not alone. Seeing others navigate similar territory helps normalize what can feel like an isolating, confusing experience. These communities remind you that what you're experiencing is real and recognized.
TF Readers
Specialized TF readers also exist (FB, Etsy, etc). Approach these with discernment – readings can sometimes become a way of outsourcing your own inner authority rather than doing the necessary work with your patterns of mind. That said, a good reading can occasionally reflect your inner progress, highlight what still needs resolution, or bring through information that wants to come to your awareness that cannot reach you any other way.
The TF journey moves through distinct levels of relating. Understanding where you are – and what each level requires – changes everything. These levels exist simultaneously, but one typically becomes your home base, the lens through which you experience your connection.
Level 1 – Behavioral Level
The focus is on actions and words – what they did, what you said, what went wrong. Common thoughts include:
"What did I do wrong?"
"Why did I say that?"
"If I'm just kinder, things will improve"
"They're less evolved than me"
"Why did they abandon me?"
"They caused this pain"
"I need to fix my behavior to win them back"
At this level, there's constant complaint about the other – why did they leave, or why are they so underdeveloped? The other is seen as the source of pain. The other is more important than me. The relationship feels tumultuous, explosive, impossible. You feel like a victim of an unfortunate situation – like you've somehow lost your most precious fortune, and you cannot understand why this is happening. It is almost like a bad, uncontrollable dream.
From Level 1, it is nearly impossible to create a healthy relationship. The patterns are too active, the reactivity too intense. The connection is not happening on the level where it should be.
The main challenge is to turn inward to deal with patterns that are causing the situation. On the behavioral level, the situation often needs to grow so painful that there is no other option than to push through the door into Level 2.
The Great Shift
The transition from Level 1 to Level 2 is perhaps the greatest evolutionary shift of the journey. It requires saying something that feels impossible: "I have created all this pain myself."
When this realization lands, everything changes. Attention turns from external to internal. Your energy reverses direction – from creating pain to reducing pain. The main challenge is taking complete responsibility for your own negative experience, recognizing it was created voluntarily, with your own mind.
This shift marks the movement from victim consciousness to creator consciousness.
Level 2 – Psychological Level
Here, you've taken complete responsibility for your own emotions. When you're alone, you sit down, focus inward, and review the separation patterns that arose. You have your toolkit to process emotions, wantings, and beliefs. Or at minimum, you're visiting a therapist or TF coach – not because something is wrong, but because you want to be clean and clear, not polluting the relationship with your own unprocessed material.
The main challenge at Level 2 is the quantity of work. You've completely understood that everything you experience is your own creation, which means you can change everything. It doesn't happen overnight, but discovering your own mind and finding ways to annihilate separation patterns becomes exciting work.
The reward is an amazingly expanded mind with all its gifts. Behind every pattern there is a gift – healing fear of violence reveals profound safety and aliveness; releasing other patterns can bring spontaneous joy, physical healing, expanded perception, and more.
Halfway through Level 2, relating starts to become possible again. The intensity has decreased enough that the connection can reform.
Level 3 – Feelings Level
Clear and intense feelings flow – love, joy, peace. There are no major psychological issues to solve anymore, though small things still pop up occasionally. But these are easy to handle because all your tools and supportive attitudes are in place. The work continues, but lightly. It is a level of enjoying the fruits of your internal work.
Level 4 – Being & Manifestation
You exist in a state of unity, regardless of whether your TF is physically present. This is also the level of manifestation – what you are being, manifests. You might say internally, "Unity exists." It is the level where the mission of the TF pair manifests – your gift to the world.
You're not even focusing on yourself or the other, because focusing on one or the other emphasizes the separation.
Understanding the Journey
All four levels exist in parallel, but you're anchored in one of them. Even when operating primarily from Level 1, Level 4 unity still exists – you simply don't access it from your everyday consciousness.
Why does separation happen? When love is sent too intensely to the other, it activates patterns too intensely in both of you. The other becomes erratic – the classic "runner" or "chaser" behavior. This is why the behavioral chaos of Level 1 precedes the psychological work of Level 2.
The journey is clear: recognize your level, do the work that level requires, and allow the natural evolution inward toward unity.
Do not take this as an exact chronological order – there are more steps and variations in the actual journey.
The separation phase awakens negative patterns that lay dormant within you – patterns you likely had no awareness of before this journey began. Many of these surface suddenly, catching you off guard with their intensity.
When these patterns emerge, you may instinctively try to suppress them, act them out, or bypass them entirely. None of these approaches work. Suppression only drives patterns deeper. Acting them out destroys relationships. Bypassing creates the illusion of progress while the patterns continue operating beneath the surface.
Transformation is the only option. The patterns cannot be forced to leave, and they cannot be made dormant again once awakened. This is why inner work becomes necessary – whether you initially engage it with external support or navigate it on your own.
These patterns are not just responses to separation – they are actively creating the separation you experience!
Your beliefs take material form in your reality. If you hold the belief "he abandoned me," that belief doesn't just influence your interpretation of events – it manifests as abandonment in your lived experience. The same mechanism applies to every separation-pattern you carry. "I'm not worthy of love" manifests as experiences of rejection. "Connection isn't safe" manifests as distance and withdrawal.
The separation you experience is a material mirror of the mind-patterns you hold. Transform the patterns, and the separation shifts accordingly. This is why the inner work isn't optional – it's the direct path through.
The TF journey brings up an extraordinary amount of patterns during separation – far more than traditional support structures can handle. While external facilitation (therapy, coaching) is a good starting point, you'll quickly hit practical limits: sessions are infrequent (weekly at best), expensive, and can only process a limited amount at a time. The sheer volume of inner work required simply outpaces what external support can provide.
This reality pushes you toward an essential realization – you can and must do much of this work yourself! There are numerous methods you can learn and apply on your own, whenever patterns arise.
Beyond self-work, learning at least one facilitation modality opens up significant possibilities. Once you have a skill – whether it's traumawork, breathwork, somatic work, or another method – you can find peers from your training or elsewhere to trade sessions with. You both benefit, it's often enjoyable, and it costs nothing. This skill-trading approach gives you consistent support without the financial and scheduling constraints of professional sessions.
With extended practice over time (years), you may eventually develop your own method tailored to your unique process. At this point, you might naturally transition into facilitating others – which can become your next income source, especially as your TF journey often shifts what work feels aligned for you going forward. Having worked with your own patterns makes you the best professional.
The progression is clear:
start with external support to learn the ropes,
realize its limitations,
begin your own work,
learn a modality,
engage in skill-trading,
and potentially develop into a facilitator yourself.
Each stage builds self-reliance while maintaining the support you need.
Every pattern we carry was either created by us or absorbed from our family system or society. Whether we created it ourselves or simply identified with it, the key insight is this: if we could create or adopt a pattern, we can also deconstruct it or disidentify from it. When you understand how a pattern was built, you hold the map for dismantling it.
The TF journey surfaces an overwhelming volume of patterns – far more than most therapeutic lifecycles. The sheer amount, intensity, and speed at which these patterns emerge makes it impractical to seek external support for every single one. This isn't a limitation – it's actually the journey's invitation – to learn to do this work yourself.
Yes, it takes time. Yes, it requires effort to reach those breakthrough moments. But developing this capacity for self-deconstruction isn't just helpful – it's essential, and it's powerful. It's the ticket to union.
That said, you can do much of this work on your own, but not all of it. Some patterns – especially those rooted deep in family systems and past lives – are difficult to see alone. Knowing when to reach for support is also part of the wisdom this journey teaches you. You are guided.
The separation you're experiencing isn't a destiny. It is a natural outcome of separation patterns.
TF separation exists because we hold separation patterns as beliefs: "He doesn't care about me", "I don't deserve his love", "We're too different."
Here's what I've discovered about these patterns:
They have two fundamental characteristics:
Discoverability – Every pattern can be fully understood. You can trace exactly what it is and where it originates.
Resolvability – Every pattern can be dissolved. ALL of them. Even the darkest, heaviest ones that feel bigger than you. Even what seems unforgivable.
If patterns were unchangeable, life would be meaningless. But they're not. And that changes everything.
On the TF journey, separation brings patterns to the surface – internal disruptions that create distance from your heart and, therefore, from your TF. These patterns fall into three distinct categories, each requiring its own approach to transformation.
1. Emotions (including emotional pain)
Pain, anger, anxiety, grief, frustration, fear – these are the emotional patterns that arise during separation. They feel overwhelming.
When transformed, they become: Feelings – love, joy, connection, union, trust. The natural state of being aligned with your heart.
2. (Not-)Wantings
"I want her back." "I don't want to feel this way." "I need him to understand." These are (not-)wanting patterns – the mental pushes and pulls that keep you locked in struggle.
When transformed, they become a manifestation – a physical connection. What was wanted becomes an experience.
3. Beliefs
"I don't deserve his love." "She'll never come back." "I'm not enough." "He is too underdeveloped." These are some core belief patterns that shape your entire experience.
When transformed, they become: Clarity – knowing what is needed, peace of mind, inner guidance.
The Foundation
Belief sits at the base of each pattern. Your emotional patterns and your wanting patterns don't arise randomly – they emerge from underlying beliefs. The anxiety you feel, the desperate wanting for reunion, the pain of separation – all of these stem from core beliefs about yourself, your TF, and what's possible.
When a belief is created, all three pattern types appear simultaneously – the emotion, the (not-)wanting, and the belief itself. They are a complete set. However, only one is visible to you at any given time. You might be acutely aware of the pain (emotion), completely miss the underlying "I'm not enough" belief, and not notice the not-wanting-the-pain pattern driving your behavior. Or you might feel the desperate wanting without seeing the belief or emotion beneath it.
This is why the methodology for working with patterns differs depending on which category you're addressing. But regardless of where you start – whichever pattern is visible to you – the work ultimately leads you to the foundational beliefs that generate all the rest.
Working only with current life patterns (the popular Mirror Exercise, and others) yields limited results. A significant portion of beliefs worth addressing originate from four distinct sources, each requiring different methods for access and resolution:
Current aware life (age 3–5 onwards) – accessible through psychotherapy or Patterns of Mind work; can be addressed independently
Example: Unresolved pain from a previous relationship carries into the TF dynamic, creating familiar defensive patterns or withdrawal.
Early life (conception through birth to age 3–5) – requires Source Breathwork with facilitation
Example: During pregnancy, the father had relationships with other women. The child absorbs the mother's pain of humiliation. In the TF relationship, this manifests as the TF partner visiting other women – the identification with the mother's pain recreates the mother's experience.
Example: As a small child, your mother was always at work – there was a lack of mothering. Now you seek mothering from your DF and wonder why the relationship does not work.
Earlier existences – requires regression therapy or QHHT with facilitation
Example: In a previous existence, you took your TF's life out of jealousy ("If I cannot have him, no one else can"). This creates intense, unexplained tension between you in the current lifetime.
Ancestry – requires family constellations with facilitation
Example: Your grandmother's lover lost his life in war. She told no one, but the pain remained in the family system. You unknowingly carry her grief of loss, which manifests as your TF not approaching you – repeating the pattern of the lost lover.
Current aware life patterns represent the smallest portion of the overall pattern structure. The majority of patterns (and the most intense) requiring resolution originate from the other three sources.
For most patterns, recognizing their origin is essential to their resolution. All four sources contain material that cannot be skipped or ignored – each contributes necessary elements to the complete pattern structure.
Suppose you experience hate or sadness toward your TF. What would you do with it? The TF experience is so intense that it brings up all separation-related patterns, including emotional ones. Working with these personal emotions involves 5 base principles that apply regardless of your specific release method:
Allow yourself to feel 100%. It seems counterintuitive, but when you fully allow the emotion, it actually drains (dissolves). The more completely you permit the feeling, the faster it drains away.
Drop resistance completely. When you resist, the draining process is limited. Resistance keeps the emotion locked in place.
Stay as non-participant. You are not the emotion – you are experiencing it. Don't identify with what you're feeling; simply allow it to move through you.
Work with quantity. Emotions have quantity. During the allowing process, this quantity reduces. Work until 0% remains – you won't be able to focus on it anymore, and you won't even remember you had it.
Keep your focus. Emotion is unpleasant, and you'll naturally want to escape in a different direction. Stay present in the uncomfortable experience without flinching.
The process can be enhanced by visualization and breathwork.
These principles work with emotions that belong to you from your aware life period. When you apply this method, and it works, you know the emotion was personal. If the method doesn't work, the emotion likely belongs to someone else – often inherited from parents or from others. If it comes from other origins, it requires a different approach.
An occasional topic in TF communities is the experience of physical symptoms that seem connected to the journey. It's important to understand that the TF connection itself doesn't cause these symptoms – it activates something already present within you. Here's the sequence:
TF experience → intense energy → brushes against patterns of mind → the patterns get activated → the respective physiological structures receive tainted energy from the distorted mind → the physiological structure begins to reflect the distortion.
There's a correlation between psychological and physiological distortions that can serve as a starting point for investigation:
The object of the pattern determines the location in the body. For example: expressing your own truth resonates in the throat area, work-related patterns in the belly area, trust in the solar plexus, love in the chest, male-related patterns on the right side, female-related patterns on the left side.
The attitude toward the object determines the process in that area. For example: anger (heat) relates more to inflammation, sadness (wet) to swelling, wanting (force) to over-tension.
These correlations are generally consistent, though individual variations exist – use them as guides for your own self-investigation.
The path to healing involves tracing back from the symptom to the pattern, and from the pattern to its origin. This investigative phase is the challenging part – once you've identified the pattern and the origin, the resolution itself is relatively straightforward, almost a downhill ride. The facilitated process typically takes only one session, after which there's a very deep relief and a clearly felt state of integration. Self-facilitated work takes longer but is equally valid.
The physical body usually heals at almost the exact pace as the mind. The exception is hard structures in the body, which may take additional time to fully restore.
Note: Always consult with medical professionals about physical symptoms to rule out underlying health conditions.
Sometimes people ask for a session. Here's what to expect from a Patterns of Mind session.
Format
Sessions are conducted via Facebook call (video or audio – your choice).
Prerequisites
It's important that you have a connection to your emotions
Willingness to experience pain and intense emotions
Willingness to take responsibility for your emotions, beliefs, pains, traumas, whole experience, and reality
Please inform me if you're currently taking psychotropic medication
Session Flow (typically 1-1.5 hours)
Getting Acquainted
We start with some casual conversation so you can get to know me, ask any questions, and feel comfortable with the process.
Choosing Your Focus
We identify what you want to work with – this needs to be on an emotional level. For example: pain of abandonment, anger, grief, or another emotion that's calling your attention. This becomes the focus for our entire session.
Entering the "Den"
We use your chosen emotion as a gateway to go deeper into the underlying pattern. Through this process, we discover which of the four origins (explained on this page) this pattern stems from.
Clarifying the Scenario
We uncover and clarify the original scenario – what actually happened to create this pattern.
Resolution
Once the scenario is revealed, the path forward becomes clear. I might guide you to communicate with someone internally, allow yourself to fully feel the emotion, return emotional baggage that doesn't belong to you, or take whatever action the pattern requires for release.
Integration
You enter a quiet, peaceful state where your psyche integrates the transformation. When this state naturally shifts, it signals that you've processed as much as your system can handle in one session – now it needs time to digest.
Closing
I create space for you to express whatever needs to be shared, while holding and supporting your new state of being. No additional processing happens here – just presence.
How I Guide the Process
I lead primarily through questions, sensing, and visualization guidance. I stay closely attuned to your emotional process through my own felt sense. If I notice you've bypassed something, I'll gently ask you to return to it.
The whole process is governed by the heart-feeling of both of us – we never proceed with anything that doesn't feel right. Clients often report that their internal sensing becomes noticeably amplified during sessions.